Midlife self-care day routine – what does yours look like?
If you don’t have one, what is the number one reason why?
My guess is it’s because you’re not making it a priority. You’re not building it into your day. So today I want to talk about what you can do to build self-care into your day to bring you some clarity and confidence.
First of all, let’s be honest, what images come up for you when I say the term self-care?
For me, I used to think about things like getting a massage or a spa day or getting a pedicure.
And those are all awesome midlife self-care activities. But, they’re also super indulgent and they feel like maybe you should only do them for a special occasion. They’re not really a great fit for a midlife self-care day routine.
I want to kinda change that mindset about self-care.
Self-care is really any activity that you do that helps your emotional and mental health. So, a midlife self-care day routine should be a compilation of several little things.
In other words, anything that helps to reduce anxiety or improve depression or reduces stress qualify as midlife self-care activities.
While a massage will reduce stress, it’s not the only thing. Self-care doesn’t have to be these indulgent “once in a while” activities.
You can do several midlife self-care activities each day. Put all together they combine to make an amazing midlife self-care day routine. I like to think of it as if you take vitamins to keep your body healthy, then you should take self-care to keep your emotions and your mind healthy. So what are those daily activities that you can do to practice self-care regularly?
There are a few things that I use every day and I like to think of them as my “self-care kit”. The first thing in my kit is my hypnosis app.
Hypnosis is an amazing tool to help improve your mindset and to really let go of any negative thinking. I never really considered myself one of those people that had a lot of negative self-talk.
I didn’t talk about myself like, “Oh, you’re stupid, or Oh, why would you think that you’re overreacting” Or those kinds of things.
But, I did have a lot of negative thoughts. So it’s important to realize that just because you’re not thinking negatively about yourself, having negative thoughts, in general, will have a negative impact on how you feel and how you behave.
And, hypnosis is amazing because it helps to plant positive messages into your subconscious.
Just like meditation restores your health, hypnosis can restore your mental health.
And the reason that’s important is that your subconscious just accepts messages without really thinking or analyzing them. So hypnosis plants these positive messages into your subconscious. Thus, completely bypassing the part of your brain that is critical and overthinks things.
Hypnosis actually puts the positive thoughts right into your subconscious so that the critical part of your brain doesn’t even have a chance to think about these messages.
The hypnosis app that I use is from Grace Smith and Grace is a hypnotherapist for CEOs, actors & actresses, Olympic athletes, etc. So I 100% trust her. In fact, I trust her so much that I have my 13-year-old daughter using the app every morning too.
The next item and your self-care kit should be a journal. And I know this sounds like something that you can just skip. I’m sure you’re already thinking, “No, I don’t need to journal” But, I want you to consider the fact that journaling has actually been tested and proven to improve your immune system.
Now that might sound impossible … or, even crazy. But, if we break it down and we think about it then it’s easy to see the connection.
Journaling helps to release anxiety, improve depression, and reduce stress.
It does this by giving us an outlet to take all of our thoughts and release them. By doing that, the feelings that are created by those thoughts are also released.
If we have an outlet to take all of those thoughts and put them down on paper, we’ll suddenly, the feelings change because we don’t have those negative thoughts or those worrisome thoughts.
So we’re not feeling the anxiety or the depression that comes along with those things. And if we’re not feeling anxiety and depression, that means that our endocrine system is not releasing the hormones that go along with anxiety and depression. And that means our body is not inflamed because of those hormones.
With the reduction in inflammation, our immune system is stronger and happier. So a journal seems like a really benign tool, but it’s actually really, really powerful.
Writing in a journal every day and getting those thoughts out is a very, very powerful exercise for your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Now I know that writing in a journal every day is not an easy thing to remember or to be consistent with. And so I have a workbook that will help you with accountability and daily rituals. Click the image below and download your copy!
The third item in your self-care kit is community. And what I mean by community is connections and relationships with people in your life who hold space for you to just be you.
I never feel quite as good as I do after spending time with my best friend having some coffee and just chatting with each other about how things are going.
We don’t get to do that very often because we live in two different times zones. But we do leave each other video texts pretty much every single day to kind of talk about how things are going in life and give each other support.
Having these connections with people and being allowed to just kind of share yourself is a huge part of self-care because it means that you don’t have to keep all of that stuff inside of you all the time.
Instead, you can share it and release it. When you share yourself and you release whatever is on your mind, you get that validation and that support back from another person.
And that creates a trust between you and that person. And having that trust and having someone that you can trust and who trusts you is a very important element of self-care.
Because it means that you can lean on somebody when you need them and that feels reassuring. So whether you have a best friend or a sibling or a life coach or a therapist or a group of friends or a Facebook group, find your community, find your people and share with them some of yourself.
And think about what Brene Brown says about vulnerability. So, Brene Brown, she has a book about vulnerability. She did a Ted talk. And a Netflix special.
She says that “vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change”. In other words, everything good about life.
But, we are so uncomfortable with the feeling of vulnerability that we replace it with all kinds of other feelings to kind of keep it under wraps.
Instead, Brene Brown recommends that you actually embrace your vulnerability and use it as a stepping stone to awakening and enlightenment.
If you’re feeling timid about having these relationships and about sharing that much of yourself, just remember how that feeling of vulnerability is actually a good thing.
Embrace it and use it as strength
because the more often you open yourself up to vulnerability, the more that you’re going to grow and learn about yourself and about your world and the people in your world.
So make sure that you take time every day to make those connections with people, whether it’s sending a Marco polo or a text or doing a FaceTime or having coffee or just make that time to have that connection with your people on a daily basis for your own personal mental and emotional health and your midlife self-care.